- I’m super smart
- I’m self-reliant
- I don’t want to be a bother
- I don’t want to look weak
- Everyone else has this figured out and I don’t want to look like I don’t belong
- I get points for figuring it out myself
- I don’t want to have to explain myself
- People won’t understand what I need
- It would be too much trouble
- I need to save my help requests for more important things
- No one wants to help me
What are your reasons?
So many of us have a hard time asking for help.
A useful practice is to start by noticing the times you avoid asking for help. It could be something as simple as looking around the grocery store for a particular item. Try to notice instances where you could ask for help and then try to find out what your reasoning was. It could be as simple as not being in the habit of thinking you could even ask.
Each time you find a reason you can then question it. I used to think no one wanted to help. But then I saw that I wanted to help..and enjoyed it. Shouldn’t I expect that others have that same good feeling?
A further practice is to go out of your way to ask for help. Back at the grocery store don’t even try to look for that item. Instead look for someone to ask for help finding that item. Allow yourself to be lost and a bother, too dumb to figure out where they keep that thing. Try to do this at least once a day for a few weeks. Or if you are an achiever try to do it everywhere you go all day for 5 days.